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!Allah's Miracles!

I can do the umbelievable. I am the Almighty One, you should know that. Can you whistle with food in your mouth? I can! Can you do 156 home runs in one game? I can! Can you beat the Master System game Rocky without cheats and that Rapid Fire? I can! Can you have sex with two people at the same time? Oh... can you?! Oooh, eew, I didn't need to know *that*!
Anyway, to believe me as your God, you must believe in my miracles. Otherwise, I'll send you to hell (where you might find your best friends and your momma, you bastard!).
...although there are no photographic registers about my deeds, I recomend you to start believing them now!